New Directions

Welcome to my little space on the world wide web. I thought I’d give an update. Last time I updated, I’d begun the process of discerning what to do with my career. I hadn’t written romance in a good long while… and knew I was looking for a new direction. As 2025 is waning, I find myself coming to some conclusions. I’m going to talk about them here…and let you decide if you want to keep poking around.

I published my romance books, and my Hawk Elite Security Series, books between the years of 2016—2021. I was young and a little rebellious. I’m not so different today, but I am older and wiser. I love my stories and the characters that inspired them, but after some time contemplating… I can honestly say a few of them are outside the moral bounds. My characters aren’t always married, something I strongly believe in…but i’m not foolish enough to think that “real” people don’t sin, real people have faults. We all do. I talk more about my opinions on the nature of marriage on the START HERE page. God created marriage and He created sex—as a procreative and unitive, amazing and provocative.

Unfortunately, I’ve spent the last five years watching the world turn to chaos. Starting with the reaction to Covid. We lived in Mississippi at the time of the “Pandemic," and we didn’t give a hoot…we didn’t bother with masks and we turned our noses up at “the rules.” Because we saw them for what they were…

LIES.

Then came the vaccine mandates…and the boosters, and the discrimination against people who CHOSE to decline. And we ignored those, too. Because, we saw through the first lies and weren’t willing to give in to the demands of a government that seemed to be over-reaching and siding with pharmaceutical companies, scientists who use dead babies to make serums—no thank you. Untested drugs and vaccines and we experienced the consequences of those “jabs” personally. We’ve watched good friends die—for no reason at all; just drop dead. We’ve seen good, strong careers get slashed, destroyed. Fortunately, my husband was able to ‘stay under the radar’, so to speak. But he wasn’t unaffected, either. His refusal to take the vaccine caused upheaval, even for our family.

There’s just too much to talk about in regards to politics and where this country has gone.

For me, I’d been willing to ride the middle line for a long time… I could be sad about the loss of morality, the confusion, but it wasn’t up to me to fix things. I needed to pray for my country and the world. But then things got heated, and it wasn’t just “let people live,” it became a matter of persecution. Because, if I refuse to call my nephew a girl or if I believed a woman doesn’t have the right to choose to kill her baby or if I think we need borders or if I believe the Catholic Church isn’t a racist, white male supremacy organization, I am the bad guy.

Charlie Kirk’s death hit me hard after years of…growing faith and growing unease. In the same month that my own life officially took a new direction, the world experienced the assassination of a man who 100% believed in the way of life I wanted. He spoke truth about family and God.

And that is the one thing that made me ask… am I worthy of persecution? Have a stood up for my beliefs? Have I not backed down?

Or have I been wishy washy, live-and-let-live, for far too long. It’s not about being political or a voice for politics. It’s about turning to God and asking Him, What do I do to serve you and your Church?

Peace.

Bethanne, writing as Beth Rhodes

P.S. I’ve had some good discernment and feedback on what to do with my books… I’ll drop that in the next blogpost/newsletter.

My Hero

In case you haven’t figured this out yet. I love my husband. He has been my biggest supporter for as long as I’ve known him. A funny story about that guy… when wearing a veil to Mass began to trend again, I was against it. The idea that someone would tell me what to do and how to do it made me upset. He was always there for me, standing behind me, saying “I got your back. Just let them try to hand you a veil.”

But then after a while, I started thinking… maybe this veil thing matters. Maybe having humility matters. Maybe I can show God that he means more to me than my angst. My husband was super disappointed! He never got the chance to defend me. So, now I’ve been wearing a veil for over a year.

Humility is good for us. So I created a new page on my website that addresses something that happened to me recently. I’ve been offline and off-writing and feeling my way through life without updating my readers. What does this have to do with my husband? Well, he had the chance recently to be mad for me. And I love it when he does that… I love that he can listen to me and care about me and want what is best for me, all the while supporting me, too.

You might not care to visit my website, so I will post here the update now published on my webpage called “START HERE.”

Beth Writes Romance…

Maybe you’re curious about how I came to write romance. Maybe you don’t have the guts to just talk to a Catholic romance writer. Well, you can come here and read words straight from my heart.

Maybe you’ve been following me a long time and saw this coming… maybe you supported me all these years and never really thought about how my books are “romance.” Maybe you liked my books, maybe you didn’t. Someone recently came into my life and tattled on me to my priest. Now, that is a first for me! Especially since I have never hidden my career as a writer. I’ve shared my books with my family, friends, and strangers.

I am blessed to have a pastor who cares about me enough to call me and talk to me about ‘the rumors’. And I am just as grateful to be able to share my life with him and not get the feeling that he thinks less of me, or shames me. A good, holy priest who understands the heart can be hard to find. If you keep reading this long assertion, you’ll hear my thoughts on my writing career thus far. I still don’t know exactly what I will do next, but I am open to whatever God has in store for me.

I was raised in an amazing, loving Christian family. I grew up reading good books of all kinds, straight into my younger married years. I loved to read. In my 20s, I picked up a Susan Elizabeth Philips book (check her out, if you like romance; her stories are heartwarming and humorous). I adored it. Story-telling in the forms of movies, books, short stories, memoirs, and even verbally shared around the campfire are my meat and gravy. It feeds my soul.

But there was something missing from the books I picked up—Phillips, Brown, Roberts, Cussler,… so many good authors.

Faith. Catholicism. Real people. Consequences.

Most of us, women especially, love a happy ending!

I stepped into the romance writing industry with no expectations for success. Just hope that one or more of my stories would touch even one person. And after conforming my writing to the publisher a couple times, I moved into self-publishing. The stories had to me mine.

But what about the love-making?

Well, actually… Catholics are the biggest fans of love-making. We have an entire book about the roles of men and women within the family called Theology of the Body. The sacrament of marriage includes giving of oneself to your husband or wife in consummate love, for unity and procreation—no holds barred, no contraception, no holding back. (hello, 6 children here)

But Catholicism went through a shaky time during the 1900s. We almost became protestant in our thoughts, especially in regards to sex. I was raised during a time when we didn’t talk about it…not as an idea nor practically. Not even as part of the Sacrament. We ended up in a time where the act of love-making became something dirty and secret.

It wasn’t until the 1990s-2000s, with books like Theology of the Body, Holy Sex! and earlier books like, The Joy of Making Love, that young Catholics were given the opportunity to understand the importance of sex within marriage.

Do I regret writing love-scenes?

Only so far as they might have lead people astray or misrepresented my Catholic Faith. My love scenes, as far as the romance genre goes, could be considered sweeter or integral to the story (euphemisms abound). My goal was to show flawed characters, on a journey to finding truth, finding true love, which sometimes mankind takes in directions that are not godly—sex outside of marriage, selfish ideals, etc. I wanted to show real people becoming better people through mistakes, learning, and loving.

We are all human, and we are nothing without God. To be exact, we should rejoice in our lowliness as it highlights our need for God, and our need for the Church. That being said: to be better than the usual steamy romance novel is not really the goal, of course.

God asks us to be Holy.

And sometimes that means moving in a new direction. It means leaving behind my former ways.

Which is where I’ve been for a few years now. Which is probably why I laughed (after I got indignant) that I got tattle-taled on. What a funny God we have. He just knew I needed to do something, and He got tired of waiting for me. So, I’ll figure out what to do next—don’t worry.

Ad majorem Dei Gloriam

How New Jersey Made me Cry

We are a week from packing up and leaving our home in the South. We’ve made a home of Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi for 8 years.

And now we are off to New Jersey.

Today, Matt is loading up his guns and his safe and taking them to a friend’s house. And, if I think about it for too long, I get to crying over it.

We may love lots about living in the North East, being near family, the cooler weather, snow… but we will miss the freedoms of our southern states. 😔❤️

#freedommatters

#2ndamendmentrights

Easter Sunday 2024: When Lent changes everything.

Do I ramble here? You betcha.

Will I rant a bit, possibly vent? Probably.

Has consistency ever been my game? There was a time, yes. But we’ll see about now.

Who am I now? A Catholic Woman, working toward sainthood by following a vocation, called by God—wife and mother first, creative soul second—in a world that seems to have turned topsy-turvy.

---

But now to the real meat of the story. Why am I back here, blogging again? Because I believe God wants me to use my skills as a writer. I’ve known for a while that the direction of my writing wasn’t where I wanted to go, so I’ve floundered quite a bit over the last 3 years. Then a couple weeks ago, a company I’m familiar with called out for writers—Gospel reflections on Sundays. I thought, ‘throw your hat in Bethanne’, why not? If they like it, it’s a sure sign of a good direction to move. Now, as is with all things writing, I wait and see…

I spent this Lent staying off Facebook—for the most part, managing a few groups on Sundays. But I did realize by the time I’d decided to write the Gospel reflection, that social media was pissing me off, on the regular! And I didn’t like being there even though I love to be able to share my life with my family and friends from the past. And then this past week has been one harrowing escapade after another of false FB allegations of copyright infringement of accounts that don’t even belong to me…until finally Facebook disabled my accounts—both my personal and my writing. Done. (wipinghands) The funniest part is that they didn’t bother with the IG account, also a META company, so I don’t know what they will do when they finally realize they’ve made a mistake on FB. But I won’t go back now. It’s like a burden that’s been lifted. Yes, I’ll hold onto the IG, because I do like the contact (I’m an introvert. We LOVE behind the screen connections!). But Facebook can pretty much kiss mine…

And, I was able to tweak my IG account to represent the better Me.

Here’s the thing about my name; it’s Bethanne. Sometimes, on the phone in the south, I let Beth slide, because…you have NO IDEA how hard it is to get people to understand ‘bethanne’ in the somewhat northern accent I have. On the second or third, “What?” I usually say, Beth.

But names are important, and I like mine. So, even when it was suggested the I should find something simpler for my domain—in the end—I just couldn’t not use Bethanne on this round. I’ve had too many years trying to be something that didn’t fit like a glove.

From Bread and Stories to Sewing and Target Practice to growing in Faith, you’ll find all sorts of things to talk about here, and I hope if you find me, you’ll stick around or come back often to visit.

I love you anyway, you crazy broad.

Motherhood is a lonely venture. Even knowing that there are thousands of moms out there, the fact remains. No one has exactly my personality or is married to my husband or has my children. No one is Me.

None of us can 100% relate to the mother next door.

And right now, it seems like people are happy for the moment when they get what they want, and that moment is quickly followed by another round of negotiating and bargaining. With little spurts of contrariness thrown in for good measure.

No one gets it. No one can really understand what it’s like. Not the husband when he is angry because you are short-tempered. Or the kids when you finally say, “I’m taking off for a couple hours. I need a break.”

And you think a break, a ladies night out or trip to the coffee shop, is going to fix it, but it’s really just that you wanted him to say, “I love you anyway, you crazy broad.”

#SaturdaySeven: The Marlboro Life

Last week, I posted a short video on Instagram. It mentioned a mug I have that I’ve had for years, which my husband and I “earned” through buying and smoking cigarettes. And then I spent a few days thinking about how much stuff we might still have. And I started digging. And this is what I found!!

1. The Mug:

2. The Ski Jacket: [for all those healthy, smoking skiers!]

3. The Cookbook: [has really good recipes, though!]

4. T-shirt

5. T-shirt

   NOT PICTURED!

6. Red Corduroy Pullover: [MIA but probably in a bin somewhere!]

7. Ashtrays: more than one!!

And this is where I get to say… Don’t Smoke! It’s not like having that stupid credit card, just to earn money. It’s worse because you might actually die from cancer. You might think we stopped smoking because we turned health conscious. No. In about 2005, taxes on cigarettes shot the price of cigarettes from a mere 2-3 dollars to over 4 dollars. Yo. We were already poor and that was just a bit too ridiculous, even for us. As a matter of fact, Matt said, when this pack is gone, that’s it—no more. But then he found a half smoked pack in his truck…so he finished that one as well. :D It wasn’t until 6 years later that being healthy became a good idea. haha. It’s true though!! And my husband started it with his decision to join the military. [I followed suit a few…okay several…years later.]

Now we’re both glad we don’t smoke.

#SaturdaySeven Facebook Interests

Somedays I find myself scrolling through Facebook…and occasionally, I find myself chuckling and laughing or even a bit mesmerized. For a wee bit this afternoon that happened to me. So I think I will show you a few things that caught my eye as I wasted….several minutes [or more]…scrolling through social media.

This one made me laugh because I still recite the prayer I learned in 2nd grade…and only this year was I told that most adults don’t…they pray spontaneously, heartfelt offerings of apology, remorse, and change. LOL Well, not sure this is what they want, but I may try it.

Without being directly political, this one makes an interesting point. Why IS the government shut down?

Hey…wait a minute!!

I shared this with my workout group. Sometimes, that medal is worth it!!

Speaking of the workout group… this image from 2017 that came up on social media today made me very grateful for 2018 and how I changed my life around. Sometimes we need that reminder. Not me so much…. but it is a funny thing to realize and know that no one who meets me right now will understand who I am. They might think I’ve always been a workout nutball. #dontforgetthepast

Um, helloooo!! This is amazing book inspiration. I love every part of this…the famous brother, the pilot, the shadow he lives in. How do you really feel about this? Are you close? How can I make you suffer? <—All questions an author would ask herself. :D :D

So many truths. I think sometimes we experience these all at once. From both sides!! :D

I hope you enjoyed this third edition of #SaturdaySeven.

Read something!! Get off Facebook! And have a great weekend.

Beth

#SaturdaySeven Blogging

I had an all day workshop to attend today, so here I am… after serving Little Caesar’s to the family for dinner, sitting down to post my Saturday Seven.

When attending training [of any kind], SEVEN thing you’ll learn:

1. You might have a low tolerance for extra talking.

2. You’ve become cynical in your old age!

3. Laughing makes the time go by more quickly.

4. Coffee [or caffeine] is a must…

5. But go easy on the liquids because bathroom breaks only come occasionally.

6. Sharing experiences and life makes a group grow fonder.

7. YOU WILL EAT THE CHOCOLATES SPREAD OUT ON THE TABLE BEFORE YOU!!

If you’ve ever been to a conference or workshop, you know what I’m talking about, right? If you stop in to visit, let me know something you’ve learned while attending a workshop.

My kids start school this week, and I’m excited to get back into a routine. The Christmas break went too fast, but the kids are ready and quite bored! It’s a beautiful thing.

I’m looking forward to getting some writing done this week.

With Love,

Beth

Open Distribution

If you visit the webpage, you’ll see this graphic on my books’ pages. If you visit my blog, you would have seen this graphic [with different words!] now gracing my header space. Don’t you love it? <3

Click the image on the book you want to buy, and you will be linked to the Books2Read page for that book, where every retailer and link is available for you to purchase from. No third party sellers, just you and Apple Books or Barnes and Noble… And I still have links to Amazon as well, so if you’re sitting pretty with Amazon, click the Amazon button!

It’s a new year.

I’ve picked my first new book and it is the Michelle Obama book. Perhaps I’ll come back and share a bit of my thoughts on it when I’m done. :)

I’m guessing life is about to get back into full swing… the routines and busyness of life.

Enjoy it!

Beth

#SaturdaySeven Blogging

Ever since Y2K [and for those of you too young to remember, think end of days. At the time, I lived in a small town in Ohio, and people were storing up toilet paper, canned goods, guns and ammo.

Every year since then, I have a moment before the new year where my imagination runs away from me, and I think, “Maybe it will happen this year.”

What if Y2K was the red herring?

What if computer systems everywhere shut down, imploded, or…decoded…or whatever it was they were likely to do when the calendar rolled over to 2000, THIS YEAR? In a way, my brain is giving me a nudge to live every day to the fullest. If this is my last day able to access the world through my computer…what would I do?

1. Ration Insulin: [maybe I need to turn my auto-reorder back on and start stocking up!]

2. Go find me a typewriter.

3. Stock up on pencil and paper and those little pencil sharpeners.

4. Send out an email to all my loved ones…

5. Take all of the survey and Games that I usually avoid. Yes, I’m curious…but I usually just don’t have time and I know, practically, it’s a waste of my time.

6. Collect addresses from friends who I’ve never met: you never know when the end of the world will create an opportunity to travel the country—by what little gas you have left and then by foot or bike! #lifetothefullest #VegasBaby

7. Pull out that 100 year old coffee grinder, clean it, and sharpen those blades!
   

First ever #SaturdaySeven!! Getting a jump on the new year and wanting to keep up with blogging. Don’t hold me to it just yet… but it’s a start. If you want to join me, use the hashtag #SaturdaySeven. Leave me a link, and I’ll come visit your blog. #oldschoolblogging #whenbloggingwassocialmedia

This Year I...

Enriched my personal life.

I spent more time on me. You all know that story, so I won’t be long on it.

Yesterday, my cousin asked me to recommend some books. And it happens every now and then, and usually my own personal rules are, Don’t Do It!! But he wanted it for his grandma…and seriously, you don’t say no to grandma…ya know?

So, I thought for a little bit, did a little research based on authors I know and love.

…and realized, I don’t read enough anymore to make recommendations.

Have I read a new release in the last few years? No.

Do I know any new authors since 1999? Aside from small press authors online, No.

Have I recommended a book recently that was published in this century? Not really.

I think maybe it’s time for me to focus on READING this year. Even my favorites are writing things I haven’t read…

That is all.

Happy Reading!!

The Balance

I would like to change my blog’s name and just call it The Balance. Mostly because it seems to hang in the balance!! But also because I feel, in this blog, I’m always searching for balance. The drive to write, the need for faith, the necessity for health,…it all becomes a balancing act, you know?

Part of me wants to become that crazy lady who exercises all the time…just going from gym to running to boxing to running and back to the gym, etc. I could blog about exercise and health and food and my discoveries…

Or I could blog about my faith and why it’s so important to me. And how I believe it’s supposed to be apparent and a part of every aspect of my life. But is it? I don’t know…

How can I write about it all? Do I reflect my real life in my characters? Is that enough? Or do I need to write a bit of nonfiction as well in order to satisfy all the parts of my life that want to have a say?

If there’s an answer, I don’t know what it is.

I have no focus. Writing book Five of my Hawk Elite Security Series has been like pulling teeth—not the 8 year old’s wiggly teeth, either. haha. However, that being said, I press on. I’m not one to be so spontaneous or impulsive that I think quitting is a good idea. I look ahead to change. I plan for the next move. I think about what I want, what God wants, and how to mesh those two.

My work is one of my greatest joys. I love my characters and watching them become amazing people. I love seeing them overcome adversity, find love and hope, and fulfill their dreams. These are the things God wants for us.

Life is hard to balance. So what?

Tomorrow is a new day.

And tomorrow I move: forward, backward, sideways…always choosing, always discerning, always trying to do what’s right. :) That’s my life…

Hanging in the Balance yet Firmly rooted in Purpose.

The Truth

Most of the times I hear a term like "an insider", I'm reading the back cover of a thriller novel or hearing that deep voice of the movie trailer announcer. So my brain started processing the term anew when I heard it this week about CSM Bolyard and his death in Afghanistan.

In case you're curious, there's a weird balance maintained by military families during a time as trying as this. Morbid curiosity is a no-go...yet, we are all thinking about it. Why did it happen? How? Who of our friends are affected by such a horrible loss? 

I watch my friends cry.

I hug them, knowing their life will never be the same...because they have lost a friend, a husband, a colleague.

But I don't cry out there. I didn't know this hero. I have only heard about him secondhand or read about him online, like every one else. My tears come later, and they are for the greater loss that our country experiences every time we lose a member of our Armed Forces. They are for my husband who will be deployed again. For the Gold Star families who have already started rebuilding and moving on. 

The more I hear about CSM Bolyard... that he was 42, getting ready to retire, a family man...a true United States hero...

Killed by an insider. 

After reading that and thinking on it for a day, I finally asked my husband, "What does that mean? He was killed by one of our own?" Isn't that what insider means? Do I even want to know?

It means that someone, who our troops were there to help and train, came in and gave us the middle finger. [those aren't my husband's words; they are mine] CSM Bolyard is the 154th person killed by an insider attack since 2007.

I stared at my husband for a second and then asked, "Why are we even over there?" I know what this means now. It means that none of our soldiers are safe, ever. What 'friendly' will be the next to turn? In what month? At which Base? How can I let you go, knowing you might not come back?

"Politics." His words. "We train them. We give them arms; they take them and give them to ISIS." They don't understand the world like we do, with peace as an ending solution. They want us all dead.

"So, why are we over there?" I ask again. And he shrugs. He too struggles to understand such hate. Are we protecting innocence and freedom? Are we fighting the injustice of the world? For him, the answers are simpler. He serves his country; he demands a better life for his home and for the world. He wants women to be respected. He wants children to be loved. He wants the elderly to be honored. In every culture. And he wants peace... 

For me, the answers are wrapped up in emotions and turmoil and more questions. And tears. For my sister Army spouse, who suffers the loss. For our country, who has lost its focus and finds value in Political Correctness instead of Truth. 

And it makes me think about Truth. The truth of knowing our world will never see peace until we surrender to the God who created us all. Until every man, woman, and child knows the salvation of the cross, our world will suffer from sin.

And all we can do is get up in the morning and love one another. Be the light in a dark world. Share the burden of our loved ones. And pray. 

For Peace. For Change. For Life. 

Sending prayers for the Bolyard family. Timothy Bolyard, you and your family are in my calendar, and we will never forget. Rest in Peace.

With Love,

On SALE this WEEKEND!

Well, I'm totally excited that SquareSpace has a new Campaign Feature. I've been using Mailchimp a long time, and after the permissions debacle of 2018, I'm just fed up with how much they are limiting my ability to put out meaningful content. When I want to. There is always a fluctuation in the newsletter part of the business. People join because they want a freebie, or maybe they sign up during a party in hopes of winning a prize. A month or so down the road, they'll unsubscribe. 

With every newsletter I put out, I gain a few and lose a few subscribers. And when I lose subscribers, Mailchimp tags that as a negative, or spam. No one likes losing subscribers, but it happens. Even I unsubscribe at times, especially when I'm just not interested in the topic anymore. 

I'm curious to see how the new feature over here develops. I've already had a great conversation with a Squarespace Rep about the feature and what I would want/need...like being able to send out a "thank you" after someone subscribes. And with the thank you, a copy of a digital book. It's in the works!  This stretches my brain and makes me think of alternative means of reaching my readers. Never a bad thing!! 

I'm 100% impressed with SquareSpace. I've been with them for a few years [or more?]. My sister recommended them to me. And I have not been sorry...not even one little time. Not even a smidge. Customer service and their reps are worth their weight in gold... and if one happens to be really skinny, maybe worth more than their weight in gold. 

Oh!! The SALE!! Right, so I created a campaign that I will send out tomorrow morning. And I put the entire Hawk Elite Security Series on sale. So, if you haven't, subscribe to my newsletter [this includes the list from Mailchimp, so if you signed up over there, you are signed up over here]. And then run over to Amazon and grab Strike Back for FREE and books two, three, and four for only $.99....or you could gift them! :D

Real Author Life

I hate to get on the snapshot social media of Facebook and brag. I know that seems silly...and people do like to cheer each other on, which is amazing in the world today, because we can also be so negative. Maybe that's a reason TO brag on Facebook.

However, I haven't quite made that hurdle to putting myself on center stage there without some kind of barrier, like a blog. 

2016, Proof Pic 1

And I'm here because...it's a long story. One that involves six kids, a husband who loves to run, type 1 diabetes, and me. Me: last year. [we both look a little goofy, eh?] I hate this picture, and when it was shot, I was annoyed at the photography because I let myself believe it was the angle of the photo, right? stupid, of course. 

I must have been a good 165 pounds in that photo. Not morbidly obese, but well-overweight and on my way to worse.

Jump ahead another year. [see photo below!]

Somehow I'd managed to loose a few, and then it became that I was just so sick of myself! I eat vegetables and fruit and healthy stuff...but I hadn't quite kicked the habit of picking up the sweets as well.  During this year, I read "Big Girls Do It Running," (link goes to the authors amazon page because i can't find the book), and I related to the author whose story it was. I remember the days when the diabetic diet was more about low fat than low carb, and we were eating Angel Food Cake because it was "good for us." Times have changed, thankfully!

2017, Proof Pic 2

And then, I made the decision to go to NYC for the ThrillerFest Convention. Late 2017, I paid my [whopping] fees, looked at myself, and asked, "Are you going to be the Fat Romance author at this event?" Which isn't very nice of me, at all. But, I was talking to myself and sometimes, you have to be a little mean with yourself, you know? I didn't want to be filling any stereotype or cliche. 

So, in January, at 158 pounds, I cut the sugars--alot. Not completely, but enough that I saw a few pounds drop right away. And then I saw an advertisement for a kickboxing class--free, at 5am. I didn't go right away. I had to get brave. What if I failed? What if it was just like the running I'd done over the years--unsuccessful and discouraging?

But I kept seeing it pop up in my FB newsfeed. So, finally...I went.

Day 1: Cardio Kickboxing: Death

All I can say about that first day is:

I could do almost an entire push up. Maybe a few sit ups. And planks? No. Just no, no, no. My shoulders burned. My body was weak. WEAK! And then I went back. I started slow with two days the first week and three the second and third, finally bumping my attendance up to 4 times a week after that. And you know what? I got stronger.

And that's when I realized that I liked being strong. More than being skinny, I wanted to be strong. So, even though I plateaued at 144 and hadn't lost a single pound in almost 2 months in June, I was okay with that, too. Because I can keep up with my kickboxing classmates. I can help the newbies learn the combinations, and I can encourage them to keep going. "Keep going," I say. "Look at me. I couldn't do a single push up 3 months ago!"

Me!!

Fast forward to today, almost four months since I started. I'm up to 18 push ups [PT push ups!] in a minute, 30 sit ups, and I can plank for an entire minute, almost no problem. And then I take a quick break and I plank some more. I go 5 or 6 times a week, and I love fighting. I love the combos and the sweat and the kicking. I am never bored. I am never tempted to quit...I'm not discouraged by the solitude like I was with running, but encouraged by the group of amazing people who work with me. 

This morning, I got on that stupid scale and weighed 140 pounds. I'm going to New York City a woman who will kick your ass. [haha, just kidding...sort of, don't mess with me!] And this morning I went to Kohl's to buy a new jean jacket. I tried the Medium on, knowing i'm still a bit between sizes--that 8/10 range--but nope, I had to go to the small. I'm overwhelmed and grateful. [and obviously, I've gone on way too long. blah, blah, blah] Brag, brag, brag. 

It's possible to get healthier, lose weight, and become the strong, resilient people God meant us to be. If you're struggling, come find me. I'll bring you to class, and we'll do it together. PS: When I hit 135, I'm eating a shake. :D

Cute Guy. Will help.