Fiction Friday -- The Hero makes a plan

A quick question for my readers[especially those with any military background]. Is there such a thing as a "Stray bombing?" Seriously, I pulled that phrase from my...tricky hat, thinking, people make up titles, phrases, crap all the time. It would be perfect for Mark, in heated concern, to question it. But, i've had 3 critiquers say, "He's a pilot. Wouldn't he know what a stray bombing is?" *snort* Um, I don't know... I think in a situation like that people want details, and saying stray bombing doesn't really translate. Am I wrong? Is there such a thing as a stray bombing? What's your opinion? Happy Reading!

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Mark Danbury strode down the darkened corridor. His shoes echoed the steady drumming of his heart as an unseen energy pressed him from all sides. A small bead of sweat trickled down the side of this face. He wiped it with a shaky hand and cursed the clench of his stomach.

He’d come to this country to fight in a war. Marriage had never been in the plans. He cut down the small measure of resentment that cropped up in his heart. His vulnerability towards her was of his own making. He should have learned at eighteen how unreliable his judgment could be when it came to matters of the heart. Bottom line, he should never have gotten involved with Margaret Keith.

An office at the end of the hallway stood open, and light spilled from the narrow doorway to the tiled floor, illuminating the speckled surface as he approached. He slowed, stopped in the last instant before his life would be irrevocably changed.

There was no going back.

Mark took a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders and stepped into the light.
Cameron Hawthorne stood quickly at the interruption. His hand moved to the side arm under his left elbow, but he slid it back into the leather holster on a breath of air. “Mark. I didn't realize the time. Have you come straight from the airfield?”

“I came as soon as I heard.”

Cameron Hawthorne wanted to enlist Maggie in his newly formed Civilian Intelligence Operation. She spoke four languages fluently and would be an asset to the team. An asset or not, Mark didn’t want to worry about her as she traipsed through Europe meeting with the victims of war and helping them find refuge. Good cause or not, people died doing that.

“Of course.” Cameron pursed his lips and scratched his chin. “So, you haven't spoken with Maggie yet.”

“No. God, Cameron. Have you? Have you sealed the deal already?” Bile climbed the back of Mark's throat. He hated being late and being out of control...and he'd felt out of control ever since he'd met Maggie. “She can be carelessly impulsive.”

Cameron raised a brow at his description.

Mark relented. “As responsible as she is, she'll agree to anything. Remember the trip down the Thames in a canoe?”

Cameron leaned back with a roar of laughter. His shoulders shook, and he held up a finger. “Yes. God, yes.” He sobered. “I need someone like her, a woman who can reassure the female victims, not everyone we encounter is going to feel comfortable with a man. She's strong Mark.”

“She's a woman.” His grandmother would roll over in her grave if she were dead. Grateful that Ethel wasn't, he silently asked forgiveness for the offense. He just needed something to protect Maggie—even a good douse of male chauvinism. “I would be obliged if you’d allow me a few days leave, sir.”

“You know I don't have that kind of authority, Mark.”

“I received my notice. I've been assigned to your civilian unit—on retainer. As of zero hundred hours, your request for a pilot is being fulfilled. I'm reporting for duty, sir!”

“...after you take a three day leave, you mean.” Cameron smirked. “And cut the crap, Mark. Don't sir me.” He moved around to the shelves that lined the western wall of his office. “Damn it. We’re in the middle of a war. I may be a civilian, but I work closely with the RAF. As a matter of fact, your first assignment is to fly reconnaissance.”

“I wasn't aware of that.” Mark shifted his weight. He cleared his throat. “You see, Maggie and I are going to be married.”

“Maggie has agreed to marry you?” Disbelief covered Cameron from his eyes to his stance, even his hands hung slack at his sides.

“We’ve spoken about it many times.” He slowly met Cameron's gaze, hoping his insinuation meshed with his words.

“Ahh.” Cameron called his bluff. He had an uncanny ability to pick out a lie. “How much time will you need in order to convince her?”

“Three days should be enough time.” He wished, banking that Maggie's spontaneity would precipitate the big event.

“Optimistic, aren’t you?” Cameron's incredulity sparked a fire of anger in his chest.

“More like stubborn,” he bit off. “Believe me when I say, Maggie will not be available to work for you after we are wed. I’ll be sending her home.”

“Do you love her?”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” How could anyone know what love was right now? If Mark survived this war, then love might become a viable option. Until then, all he knew was that he was very fond of her and feared for her safety.

“Twenty-four hours. The fact is, I could really use Maggie.” Cameron didn't wish Mark luck. It was obvious in the fold of his arms and firm set of his jaw.

“Please, two days, Cameron.”

“You really need to talk to Maggie. I'm actually surprised you didn't go directly to her place. Didn't you hear about the stray bombing just north of the city?”

“Stray bombing. What the hell is a stray bombing?”

“Some German plane just showed up out of nowhere and dropped a bomb. Middle of the day, a mostly deserted road on the out skirts of town. Maggie was on her way home from your grandmother's by way of the Pennington estate.”

Dread suckered the air from his lungs. “My God. I have to go.”

“Thirty-six hours, Mark. That’s all I can give you. If you can’t convince her to marry you in that amount of time, you’ll need to report to the Bentley Priory anyway. You belong in the air fighting the Germans not on the ground courting the ladies.”

“Is she okay?” His affection for her had grown, and Cameron had been witness to it, knew it. Still, he liked to keep those affections under his hat. Too many things could go wrong, and he didn't even know if Maggie would agree to this proposal. Did she want him for life—however long that ended up being?

"It wasn't pretty. She was shook up when I left her with the Pennington's."

The relief made him unexpectedly lightheaded. She had to be in mostly working order, really fine or Cameron wouldn't have left her. “Thirty-six hours then.” He saluted, his expression grim as he did an about-face. He paused at the door and turned back. “Thanks for the leave.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing Mark.”

“I hope so too.”

Goalpost Monday

Why is it that Monday mornings are full of chaos, disorder and angst?
I mean, there are TWO days to get ready for it. It should be the smoothest morning all week long, but it's not. EVER.

I'm looking forward to my favorite shows starting up this week--The Office, Earl. Also, ER is finally, FINALLY going to be ending this year. A month or so ago, my hubby, by himself watching TV, exclaimed, "Yes! I've been waiting for this for 12 years!" Then he wouldn't tell me what this was... He wanted me to figure it out... so I said, "What? Dukes of Hazzard is coming back on?" LMAO. Anyway, lots to look forward to.

Last week in WRITING: GOALPOSTS
1) Write query Letter. -- i'm postponing this. I want a better grasp on my story. That almost sounds ridiculous, but there you have it. What good is a query going to do me when I'm not ready to submit anyway, right?

2) Read/Revise through...hmm, the end? NO. that won't work because I don't have an end. Up to the end. Consider ending options, including the one already written... Write trip to France<--Big addition. Don't screw it up. -- This reminds me, I got blown away by a few critiques... it's a long story, but I returned to chapter one for some revisions. *sigh* Just a few, but enough to make me feel some serious ugh.

3) Critique one or two more chapters -- Finished one then broke for the weekend. Last week was really tiring. I didn't touch my computer all weekend. It felt like a nice break...and well-deserved, too. :P

This week Goal posts:
1) Finish Chapter one revisions, again. No problem. -- I was in the midst of a layering revision, into chapter four when I was interrupted by the critiques, sooo I'm trying to remember exactly what it was I was layering in. Maybe I'll remember.

2) Do a critique or two.

3) Finish reading The Road and Natural Born Charmer.

A Small Business

Well, this has been a week.

I received two critiques this week that left me undeniably drained. I've made some good revisions, at the same time pushing back this wall of despair.

Will this never be done????

Today, my Microsoft Office 97 pooped out on me. I've been receiving pretty regular window messages, restarts all on account of my outdated program, but i've held out hope that it would last...at least long enough to get me published. LMAO. Sorry, uh, anyway...

For me, writing is part of who I am.

At the same time, I like to think of my writing as a small business. My goal is to take something I love and make some money doing it. Isn't that what most businesses are about?

Yet, like most start up companies, I'm looking for an investor.
Anyone interested in investing in the next NYT and USA Today's bestselling author???
:D LMAO No seriously. I'm just kidding. Still, the thought is there.

I NEED MICROSOFT OFFICE!!!!

My Manuscript is running away without me.

In other words, How to keep it Simple.

I don't know how to do this well. This morning my secondary opened his mouth and said, "I have a problem with my radios."

I was like, What? What the hell are you talking about? No! No problems with radios!!! Stop it. Just stop it.

Then a friend of mine Inez Kelley said something to me that really helped!

Make the story about One Thing. [not those exact words, but that's what I got from it]

Okay, I can do that. My story is about one thing. Each thread doesn't have to be another story, it just needs to add to the ONE THING.

So I took out my pencil and started writing down all the things that would affect ONE THING. Let me give you an example. I have this ww2 setting...and spies. BUT, my main characters are actually part of a civilian unit that is working to extract refugees from occupied Europe, France, Belgium, Germany, Poland...

So, the point is...

Everything that is highlighted in this story must somehow affect that objective. I'm doing okay... I haven't completely lost my focus. Most of the revision changes will be minor... *cough* of course, i'll probably adding a scene here or there.

OMGosh. this is totally why I'm going to plot my next story.
Also, when do you quit?
I mean, the revisions just keep happening! When do I step away from the keyboard and say, this is a good story, but you're still learning to plot your craft... you might want to take what you've learned and start new, start fresh?

Monday Night Goalposts

Last Week
1) rewrite Switzerland scene~Will do that in the next couple of days.
FINITO!!! Plus, worked through C14-C16.

2) read Tribute, Nora Roberts' new hardcover single title. I'm so happy! From page one, it had a different feel to it. It's been refreshing so far and I love it.
Still NOT finished with this one, but picked up The Road, my bookclub read for this month of September.

3) My goal this week is to get a query letter started. It's time...
Did not touch this...OOPS.

This Week
1) Write query Letter.

2) Read/Revise through...hmm, the end? NO. that won't work because I don't have an end. Up to the end. Consider ending options, including the one already written... Write trip to France<--Big addition. Don't screw it up.

3) Critique one or two more chapters

New York Times Bestseller List

Okay, this is an old topic, one beaten to death by authors, publishers, store owners and readers alike. But, alas, it has only come to my attention recently--an outcome of a review on Romantic Bites.

When Randy visited and stated that we should stick to reading romance because the book we didn't like was obviously too smart for us...as it was on the NYT bestseller list, I got to thinking. And my first thought was, "If this book made the list, I want to know why?!"

So, I did some research. And I found that the real accomplishment in regards to the NYT list is STAYING there, NOT being there.

So, Randy, when you read the book we spoke of, I want to hear your opinion.

I can respect an opinion that is different from mine, but my opinion still stands, Touch the Dark missed the mark... and for more than just the lack of romance novel characteristics.

Monday Night Goalposts

My story made me weepy...
Just a little. Thank goodness the Man had gone to bed. He'd wonder what the heck I was doing writing a story that makes me cry!

I guess this'll be my goalpost for the week. I'm late...not to mention I didn't do it last week or the week before. Sooooo, here it goes.

Giving Back
I did get back into RWCcritique, so I've been doing about 2 critques a week there. I want to continue that pace and build up some subworthiness. LOL At RWC we have to do 2 critiques for every submission. Idealistically, i want to be able to put my own ms through pretty quickly once I get started...so, having a surplus of critiques will be a good thing.

Otherwise, I'm still working with Estelle and a little with Lauren, but I'm trying to make a better balance for myself. :)

For me
1) rewrite Switzerland scene
~finished through chapter 12 and plowed into 13 with more of this scene from Switzerland. I borrowed a movie from the library, a tour of Switzerland. Really interesting and helpful. I have one, maybe two more scenes in the mountains before I can head back to the all ready present plot line. :) Will do that in the next couple of days.

2) reread 7 books -Gave up on some of the rereading. My story took over, and I picked up a few new, must reads. Right now I'm doing Tribute, Nora Roberts' new hardcover single title. I'm so happy! From page one, it had a different feel to it. It's been refreshing so far and I love it.

3) My goal this week is to get a query letter started. It's time...

Workshop World



Kick A$$ Characters By Authors Who Know How To Kick A$$



September 12-13 at Romance Divas




Featuring:


Bob Mayer


Lori Avocato


Maggie Price


Lindsay McKenna


Barry Eisler


Linnea Sinclair


Larissa Ione


Merline Lovelace



Want to know how to write authentic action, suspense, law enforcement, and military romance? Ask authors who know firsthand! Romance Divas is hosting a 2-day workshop with some of the hottest names in the genre. It will take place at the Romance Diva Forum. All are welcome. To get access to the forum you will need to register.

Fiction Friday -- Creepy Guy

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Creepy in a Gary Sinise kind of way.

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Bam. Bam. Bam.

She screeched at the pounding, her back shuddered at the tremor of the door. Heart racing she called out, "Who’s there?"

"Margaret? It’s me, Henry. Open the door."

She released the lock and pulled the door open with a bang.

"What’s going on? Your neighbor is babbling about strange men and loose women."

Maggie grabbed his arm, dragging him through the doorway. With a glare at Mr. Anderson she slammed the door again. There was a certain pleasure seeing the suspicion on his face in that instant she’d forced Henry through the door.

"I had an intruder, Henry." She moved to the windows and drew the curtains. Doing so, she lit her candle-lamp that sat in the furthest corner. "Please sit down. My kitchen is a mess, and I should report this, but I need to sit for a moment."

"Are you okay? Was anything taken?"

"I don’t know," she answered from the kitchen doorway. The glow from the single bulbed fixture at the center of the room shed just enough light to see there was no way she was getting her cocoa tonight without spending at least an hour cleaning first. Whoever it was had torn the place apart. With a sigh, she turned back. "There’s nothing to offer but some water. I might have some brandy…" She crossed her arms and rubbed the goose bumps away. "Honestly, I’m exhausted."

"Thank God I came by. Should I call the police?" He rose from the chair and turned his hat over in his hands before setting it on the chair. "Let me get you that brandy."

"I know you said we had an early morning tomorrow. I really think I should report this before we head out." Her eyes followed him to the liquor cabinet. "It’s too late now. I’m not going to bother them over this, not when nobody was hurt. It seems so trivial compared to what the police are probably dealing with in other parts of the city."

Henry poured a drink and handed it to her. She sipped, swallowing the fear and the tears. He patted her back and rested his hand on her shoulder.

Her breath stopped when his thumb trailed down and caressed the slope of her arm. She backed away and his hand fell to his side, his face showing no sign of discomfort. She, on the other hand, was beyond uncomfortable. She cleared her throat.

"I could stay on the couch if you’d like. I hate to leave you—"

"No!" Moving to the cabinet—and away from Henry—she placed the glass on top of it. "I mean, no thank you. I feel much better now and really appreciate that you came by when you did, but I think I’ll just lock up and head to bed. It was probably just a down-on-his-luck bum looking for a quick pick." Her laugh was short. "Not that he found anything worth taking here."

"Well, if you’re certain." He reached for his hat, closing the distance between them, and smiled—a sad smile. He lifted his hand as if to touch her face.

She pulled back. "Henry." Rounding the chair and crossing to the door, she opened it for him. "Please, don’t make this harder than it is."

Plotting

It's the age-old question of PLOTTING. [not my age, naturally...i'm a five-year-old writer...born in my 28th year on God's green earth--do the math if you want]

I plot as I go. Tweaking things as I get to know my characters. Knowing each event in their lives is going to change them a little... Knowing that occasionally, they will reveal things to me about their past that I'll have to incorporate into the growing story. This is how I do things...

This is my way.

And I consider myself a plotter. I like to have the basic storyline down before I start. I like to know, especially, where my characters will be when the novel is complete.



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I finished reading Dodd's Chosen series yesterday. It's a four book series about a family of shifters from Russia with an ancestor who made a pact with the devil [literally].

Okay, let's just say, this project MUST have taken a lot of plotting. I never thought about it while reading other series, but there's just no way an author could start this story without detailing more than just a beginning and end. We're talking 4 siblings, four books yet ONE villain. So every scene, besides bringing the heroine and hero together in one book, must bring the family closer to winning this battle against evil. Photobucket Seems really thready to me... the trick is to keep track of all the loose ones. Make sure they all get tied off in the end.

So, [in review style] I only had one issue with the ending of the fourth book. [and this is where the spoiler alert really comes into play...so don't keep reading if you haven't read the books and a surprise ending is important to you... DO YOU UNDERSTAND???? STOP NOW!]

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The final H/h in Dodd's series, Doug Black and Firebird Wilder have a REALLY interesting story. After finding out she's pregnant with Doug's baby, Firebird also discovers that Doug is a shifter, a Varinski--the family who made a pact with the devil and wants to kill all of the Wilder family. She runs home, filled with guilt for possibly leading danger right to her family's door. Well, two years later, Firebird understands that in order to save her family, she must call upon the man she thinks wants to hurt them.
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You know where I'm going with this don't you?
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So, they reconnect...they still share a passion that is the heart and soul of them. One thing leads to another and they both ride a roller coaster of emotion that leads to the ultimate battle between good and evil.
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Now here's the quirk [you must be thinking, FINALLY!]. I think the H/h relationship should have been resolved before the battle with the devil was fought by the family. It felt a little disappointing to have the awesomely staged conflict end, but not have the H/h run to each other... you know, like in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. [yeah, yeah. i know it didn't get great reviews, but I liked it] So, in review style...i would have resolved Doug and Firebird's issue BEFORE the battle. Cuz afterwards... it was weird. They talked for a few pages. Bam!, clearing up the do-you-really-love-me issue.
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Also in true review style, i give all of these books 5 martinis. Very well written. Loads of passion...loads of conflict... Everything a romance reader[and writer] wants. :D
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Back to the plotting. I commend you, Ms. Dodd. You rock. Thank you for putting such a wonderfully intricate plot together. One that kept me begging for more with each turn of the page. One that inspires me to make sure my stories will do the same thing for my readers.

Fiction Friday


Mark is in Switzerland with Flannery. This particular scene I'm inserting into chapter twelve in hopes that when chapter thirteen rears its lovely head, I'll be more prepared. :D So, here you have it. In all its rough draft glory. :) The Last Lie

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An Opel, German made truck circa 1930, whined its way down the side of the hill. He had a very bad feeling they were about to be submersed in a day’s worth of back and forth. He measured with his eyes and figured at least three trips. "Let’s start unloading."

"Maybe it’s not our contact."

Mark gave Flannery a look of disbelief. "Who else? There’s no one here. Hasn’t been anyone here in some time, I’d guess."

His friend shrugged and jumped back into the plane to pull the wooden crates from the stacks, neatly lining them at the door. "Come on old man. Get your ass up here."

Mark waved him off and walked toward the terminal. The truck rumbled to a stop feet from the end of the runway where he stood. He choked on the dense smog of exhaust, covering his mouth and nose.

A big man hoisted himself from the driver seat and stepped down. He wore brown overalls and a denim, long-sleeved shirt. His balding head glistened with a sheen of perspiration. Bushy eyebrows hooded large droopy eyes that lit up when he smiled. "Dzien dobry. Hallo!"

Some of the tension he’d been feeling since he’d flown out of Lakenheath dissipated. He grasped the older man’s hand. "Hello, I’m Mark Danbury, RAF."

The man’s accent, European, though Mark couldn’t determine where from, gilded his words. "We wait long time for someone to come."

"We’re a little short on information, but still glad to help in anyway we can." Mark turned and pointed toward the plane whistling through his teeth. "That’s Flannery O’Riley."

Flannery waved from his perch in the cargo bay.

"My name is Emil Tomaszewski. Come, let us help your friend so we can continue or journey." Emil walked with a slight limp, but despite that and the protruding middle, he carried more of his share during the task.

The midmorning sun caused sweat to pour down Mark’s face, but he appreciated the manual labor. It kept his mind from lingering on Maggie, from seeing her board the train with that knowing smile. Remembering the taste of her lips…

"Watch it, Mark." Flannery sidestepped him with a crate full of canned goods.

He broke from the trance he’d been convincing himself the work would distract him from and shook his head.

"So, you think about a girl, eh?" Emil stood at the cargo entrance with his hands upraised for another load. He slipped his fingers into the slots on either side of the crate Mark had shoved over.

"My wife."

"This is good! You have wife."

Mark smiled at the jovial man. After just an hour or so of work and talk, he now knew that Emil had been married twice and had two grown sons. James and Adalbert worked within occupied Poland, during the day as street pavers, but by night as underground network emissaries. His current wife was ten years his junior and had stayed by his side as they crossed through the Czech Republic[check this for timing] and Austria[bavaria?] before reaching Switzerland.

Mark imagined a stern woman, tall and strong…with muscles. He chuckled to himself. European women were not the same soft, loving female variety he was used to. Maggie would never have the strength for what Emil described, some days taking to the roads on foot.
"Eh." Emil nudged him. "She is pretty, no?"

"Yes. She is very pretty." Mark lifted the last box onto the bed of the truck.

"It all fit." Flannery walked up after closing the cargo bay door and removed his cap. He scratched his head. "I’ll be danged."

"No kidding. I was sure we’d be taking at least three trips." Mark lifted his small duffel bag from the ground and slung it over his shoulder.

Emil threw his head back and laughed. "I learn to pack. Very quick and tight." He patted the side of the truck. "Fuel is hard to come by, but we are lucky. So far, the German’s have stayed out of Switzerland. So, men like me—we bring our families into these mountains. And we do what we have to…including bring supplies in from the airport." He struck the air above his head with his finger. "We go! Marta has made a fine meal to share."

Mark’s stomach growled at the mention of food. "Thank you. We could use a meal and a good night sleep."

"How many families did you travel with?" Flannery squeezed in between Emil and Mark on the bench seat. Emil started up the engine before answering the question.

With his side pressed up against the door, Mark hung his elbow out the window. The fresh cool mountain air swirled through the window and into the cab. Mark caught the scent of hard work and sweat mixed with the mountain heather.

"In March five new families come from Germany. All together, there are eleven, three from Poland, three more from France, and one couple from Prague--newlyweds."

Mark’s mind wandered as Emil ran through a list of everyone’s name, what they liked, how long it took them to get to the farm… His head fell back against the seat and he rested his eyes as the truck rumbled through the quiet streets of Langnua before becoming dirt.

Flannery must have understood his fatigue because he kept up the easy banter, relieving Mark of the obligation.

He jerked awake when the truck ground to a halt. A tall house rose out of green rolling hills that were backdropped by the magnificent rise of the Alps. Gray peaks with tops of white, a fortress for this small farming community. Mark yawned away the vestiges of much needed sleep.




picture found at FiddlersGreen.net