update

I have Chapter one completed.
No more editing [so I say]...
No more revisions...
It's just sitting there waiting for the other chapters to catch up.
I have a round of edits for my chapter two to go through then it will join one.
YAY!
Thank you Grandma GiGi for reminding me that sinks, including the counter tops, were made of caste iron and porcelain. Duh. :D

Writing

When I'm writing a story, it's like having a pot of red sauce on the back burner. It's never really out of my head completely. When I sit to write, it's lifting the lid and releasing all these awesome aromas into the air--tomatoes, basil, garlic. Stirring the sauce helps the flavors blend and reminds me of what's missing--meatballs or a dash of pepper. When I set out my pasta ingredients--flour, eggs...maybe spinach, it's another twist in my plot. Another character to enhance my story or reveal another clue. I might spend an hour perfecting the linguine but it's worth it in the end when I have a plate of food that stimulates more than just my mouth. I have a mental feast that inspires my senses and catapults my brain to the next meal I will make.


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To those writers worried about where your next story might come from, DON'T! If you're hungry enough, you'll find something to put together.

And that is the perfect example of overusing metaphors... Seriously, what am I talking about anyway? ;-)

Fiction Friday

A friend of mine asked me about how much work i had piled up in my Document Folders on my computer. I think she was worried about how much stuff she had piled up in her folders... I told her not to worry. I had PLENTY! This one, titled Red Wine, I wrote from a prompt...entitle, Red Wine. :D Clever aren't I?


Red Wine
Remember that scene from *Cocktail*? The one where Elizabeth Shue is dancing with Tom Cruise and they’re down on that island in the Caribbean? The scene always intrigued me for one reason…I thought they looked so incredibly dumb dancing that way. She kept lifting her arm and he would copycat that movement and their hips would sway in rhythm to the steel drum band. It was the night she lost her virginity and maybe that’s why it always stuck out in my memory.
Virginity. That not very likely characteristic of most young women today. It was an odd thought to have while I stood off to the side of the hardwood dance floor and watched the couples move back and forth.

This was my fourth wedding this season and the only real difference this time being that I decided before even arriving I was going to drink red wine. Why red wine you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. It is horribly potent. I mean dance on tables, lamp shades on your head…forget the jerk you just broke up with potent.

As a matter of fact the glass I was holding right now was quite half empty…and wavering a bit, I think. Yes, it was doing that. But, wait. Mr. Blues-eyes was looking at me again. I lifted my glass to him but I’m afraid he misunderstood my gesture for he returned the gesture and started walking towards me…without a refill.

When he was standing just in front of me and my head was tilted back considerably he placed his index finger just on my sternum. "You’ve spilt your drink."

"Hmm?" My loss of vocabulary was unintentional.

"Can I help you with your drink?" Yes. He was finally seeing the light! A man who knew what I needed and would get me more. But he only took the wineglass and placed it on the tray of the passing waiter.

"Now why would you go and do a thing like that?" I had always been a direct sort of person and I saw a spark in his eyes then.

"How about some coffee?"

"With Bailey’s?" That would help too. I was so looking forward to the wine but sometimes you just have to make do. "That would be wonderful."

Blue-eyes lifted his finger and a passing waitress came up in an instant. Perhaps I should be calling him Fonzie. Fonzarelli. The Fonz. I giggled pretty unattractively and Blue-eyes gave me a puzzled look, but I just shrugged my shoulders. I had had a bit of wine already.

"Two coffees, please." I opened my mouth to speak but the stern look on his face stopped me. Why was he frowning at me? I looked down at my elbow. Yes, he was gripping it and pulling me along to a table in the corner.

"Now wait a minute here. I’m certain I’ve given up men for the time being. You’ll understand if I don’t sit with you. I’m just going to go find myself a table full of nice single ladies and get something to drink." Oh, I didn’t have to add that part, did I? Now, he’s looking irritated again.

"Drink your coffee."

"But I don’t want coffee." Who the heck was he to tell me what to do? Although, now that I had a better look at him, he did look somewhat familiar. "Do I know you?"

Oh, that’s just great. Now, I’ve insulted him. "Well, don’t look so hurt. It’s an honest question."
I can tell that the fog is starting to clear. My head is definitely filling in the holes because I’m mortified to find the rhinestone studded belt usually sitting at my waist has slid down over my hips and is in my lap. Now how did that happen? It must have been when I sat down. Hmm. Interesting what can happen when you’re not looking.

Oh…Blue-eyes was coughing…oh, right. Pay attention, Anne! Honestly, I would lose my head if it weren’t attached. "So," I said as I struggled with the belt in my lap, tugging it up where it originated, "you are?"

"Tom. Thomas Edwin Duvall, the Third. You use to call me Ted."

I almost fell off my chair. Ted was a skinny obnoxious older boy who had given me my first lesson in humility. The man sitting in front of me was…well, good-looking, for one. The glasses he wore implied intelligence.

At twelve, I’d proclaimed my undying love and been rejected. I’d been sixteen when we last met up. Sixteen and no smarter than the post I’d been sitting on. Surrounded by my few comrades from school, he’d approached. Said hello.

I’d been holding a grudge, juvenile as it was and so…

I flashed him, jumped from the fence, and walked away.

Narrative vs. POV

I'm writing a scene where my heroine and hero are married--just married, actually. The spur of the moment nuptials leave them breathless...uncertain and a little giddy. Well, she's a little giddy because she loves him. He's uncertainly certain. Photobucket Certain what he is doing is right...Uncertain he's doing it for the right reasons. .....er, no. She's not pregnant!.... Too cliche!

Narrative: a story or account of events, experiences, or the like, whether true or fictitious.

What I wanted to do was discuss the differences of narrative[me telling a story] and POV[the characters doing the story]. Apparently...or technically, POV is part of the narrative.

Point of View: The attitude or outlook of a narrator or character in a piece of literature, a movie, or another art form.

GREAT! There goes the Blog...

So here, this is what inspired these thoughts.... from my writing this morning.

"I’ll put your purse in here." Their fingers brushed when he took the small bag from her hands and lifted the flap on the pouch. He buckled the cover down, lifted his head and grinned. "All set?"

"I’m a little nervous." A bubbly laugh escaped when he lifted his leg and straddled the bike in front of her. The small frame sank a few inches lower and she grabbed his shirt along with a pinch of his flesh. "Oh, sorry!"

Mark swiveled and sat perpendicular to her, his shoulder nudged between her breasts.


[Note to CP: I’m trying to be clinical about this…I know she’s feeling things, but at the same time, describing what is happening is different than showing her feelings… I guess that’s what the difference is between narrative and POV. Anyway, this is the second time I’ve used the word breast in this manuscript… I don't want to be redundant. LOL.]


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picture Copyright The Motorcycle Museum

Happy to Write

I just am. I'm so happy to be writing. I have this awesome support group, online and off. I have all these characters in my head connected to one story or another. I've learned so much in the past 4 years. Hopefully, my stories reflect that. :D

Maybe someday, you'll be able to visit me and tell me if you think so.

But for now, a picture for my very good friend who lives on a beach and had a childhood crush...long, long ago, but not in a galaxy very far away.


Loving the Internet

I'm so thrilled about this story I'm writing...rewriting...revising. Whatever you want to call it. I've learned so much about history in Europe, about World War Two.

Better than the learning? I've met so many wonderful people online! It's so true that the internet has made our world small. With a click and a few typed lines, I can chat with someone across the ocean. I can learn more about the world around me.

I'm so excited because today, Fr. Sean from Edmonton Parish in England replied to my request for more information on the history of his church. Yay! What a wonderful write up.

Several weeks ago, I contacted an Edelwiess grower in Canada. He was a friendly sort, too. :D

I may have to do more of this research thing...

My First EVER Review


Something More

By Janet Dailey
Published June 2007, a Kensington Hardcover


Life in Glory, Wyoming, population fifty-one, isn't exactly exciting. The dusty old town isn't even on the map. And for rancher Luke McCallister, that's just fine. Broken by tragedy, the stoic cowboy spends his time at his Ten Bar Ranch or down at Ima Jane's Rimrock Bar, trying to avoid the gossip being served along with the food and drink. But the everyday quiet of his life is shattered when he finds a human skull—and possibly the key to Glory's oldest mystery.


It was one hundred years ago that a band of outlaws were said to have buried their gold in Glory. The one surviving bandit tood the secret of the treasure's hiding It was one hundred years ago that a band of outlaws were said to have buried their gold in Glory. The one surviving bandit took the secret of the treasure's hiding place with him to the gallows. Angie Sommers knows the story cold: that man was her great-great-grandfather. She's come to Glory to see if the old legend of the gold is true, and she wants Luke to help her find it. She even has incentive: a possible clue written by the dead man himself.


Luke has no interest in chasing after pipe dreams. He's seen the damage too much hope can bring. Still, he can't deny that Angie makes him feel things he hasn't allowed himself to feel in years. Something about her sweet, trusting nature, her honest eyes, and unshakable belief makes him feel alive again—and that could be dangerous. For someone else is determined to stop Angie, someone who would do anything for the outlaws'gold. Now, bound by the thinnest of ties and shadowed by danger, Luke and Angie set off in search of a mystery as romantic as the west itself on a journey of faith that will take them into Wyoming's rugged, treacherous terrain and even deeper into the heart's tender graces...

Hi, my name is Betty, and I'm a reader.

This is my first review ever...that I've attempted to write down. As a woman of substance [aka strong opinion], I figure this should be easy for me. Unfortunately, it's not. Part of me relished the idea of being able to give a snarky write up. Something disguisedly scathing, yet insightful and truth-bearing. [wow! big head alert!]

Instead my wouldn't-want-to-be-trashed-on conscience reared it's head and now I have a dilemma. So, I'll get right to it...

Dailey paints a beautiful picture of the harsh landscape, Wyoming. [wild applause from the peanut gallery]

That being said, I had a really hard time getting into this book. The characters were by far, ungraspable. An edge of unbelievability sliced through each calculated phrase. Calculated because it was more than obvious by page two that the author was setting us up. [for that soapbox moment, i mean]

Heroes are meant to be flawed. Without flaws where would the story go? Right? Of course right. Poor Luke. I believe he didn't have a say at all in how his character would come across. It was a balancing act between bitterness and charm, between nobility and frank amusement. I would rather have seen just plain bitterness. There is nobility and honor in a man broken by grief. Too bad Dailey couldn't show us that. On an aside, halfway through the book, I still didn't know that Luke was a widower...that he'd lost his family in a fire and drank to dull the pain.

The heroine, Angie, is a really nice person. She softened so many words with a smile, i eventually lost count. My biggest issue with Angie was that Dailey gave her almost no conflict. Angie was, like I said, nice, nonjudgmental--if a little self-righteous, goodlooking and strong. Thankfully, she was tritely condescending about Luke's drinking, his relationships with his peers and with God... Unfortunately, that seems to be an okay quality for Dailey. As if Angie was right so she deserved to give those small bits of reprimand. Can I just tell you? I didn't know this was an inspirational-type book until the first church scene when all of a sudden she's thinking scripture.

Speaking of thinking, the token crazy mountain man has an entire scene in which he talks to himself. Understandable, I suppose, as he's alone. He claims clearheadedness, though, so I guess he's just lonely... I sure did learn alot from his ramblings, though.

If I try to get into all the secondary characters I'll be in big trouble, so let's just say, that as Dailey moved from one scene to the next, each of the characters displayed the greed necessary to create a feasible whodunit. I was reminded [fondly] of my stack of John Wayne movies. A DVD set with the likes of 'Neath Arizona Skies and Paradise Canyon. Great looking people, but bad dialogue fused with amateurish acting. *wince* I love those movies, but they certainly aren't Tombstone or Dances with Wolves.

If you're looking for a story in which the hero and heroine don't get together at the end of the book...or at any point within the story, this is the book for you. Me? I give Dailey one Martini for the the time it probably took to pen all those words into sentences. No, I'll give her one and a half, for the landscaping.

Please note, this is just my opinion. Janet Dailey obviously enjoys the kind of writing career and fan base that I only dream about. She is hugely successful and, I'm sure, will continue being so no matter what I think or say in this blog.


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A critic and a review

I always liked the idea of being a food critic. I mean, what wasn't to like? Food, eating out, food, the power of words...food. I do like food.

Now i'm taking on a new endeavor--books. Photobucket

As with eating food, I've always been a reader. Maybe I didn't learn any sooner than the next kid, but once I picked up on the words, I couldn't seem to stop.



A very good friend of mine, Moira Keith asked me if I'd be interested in reviewing books with her and two other readers on a blog called Romantic Bites. Oh! I got so excited! I thought, how fun that would be. To actually give my opinion on something that I love and to have people who love what I love appreciate it! I imagined the likes of Nora Roberts and Clive Cussler emailing me, begging me to save a spot on my calender for their next big release... Editors at Penguin and HarperCollins would read my scintillating reviews and [on the spot] request a full of my most current manuscript... There would be balloons and tickertape parades. A key to the city!



mmmkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmmmmjjjmmmm..........................ping, ping, ping.

HUH? what? Oh, sorry 'bout that. Fell asleep on the keyboard.



Where was I? Oh right. Reviews at Romantic Bites. Look for new releases and wonderful oldies but goodies. Together, we read everything...and everything we read, we review! I look forward especially to undertaking the contests! Each month one lucky person will win a prize. And for our first month come on over for your chance to win a Gift Certificate to one of the great bookstores located throughout the United States! [that's fancy for, i'm not sure which one it is...Barnes and Noble, Borders, Walden...]


Join us and share with us your love of books too!

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The Vagaries of Writing

A letter to my Critique Partner
Dear Estelle Harte,
sounds like a good day.
My day sucked..well, kind of.
I had a really good morning. and wrote some really cool stuff.
[d-it] i'm getting mad thinking about it again.
*breathe*

at some point, midday, the computer shut down, on its own, like it was possessed or hated me.
I logged back in, a little worried that my Word recovery wasn't going to work [that's tyical for my program--pisses me off]. Well, Alleluia, I had my recovered document. Only the damn thing was unresponsive. The program kept thinking and thinking and thinking. I had to reboot. [and of course, now I kick myself and think, should I have waited???????] on the second startup, no recovery. no document. Grrrrrr. i did a search for .tmp thinking. the damn thing says that it's saving even when I don't hit save. every so many minutes it autosaves. but no! there isn't a temp document anywhere! Actually, there are temp docs but nothing from yesterday.

I hate recreating stuff. IT NEVER WORKS! And it was really good. it was a scene that i'd done some revisions on already and I liked it, alot. Now it's gone and last night i tried to put it back together but I'm not going to be able to. I'm going to have to wipe the slate clean and start new. So I read my story up to that point hoping that it would flow from there. My mind was too occupied with the freaking angry at my computer and its incompetence feelings. OH. it just makes me so mad! WHy?! WHY?! Why does my computer do this?! Why did I not save? I always save! this has happened enough that I'm really good about saving! Why was my guard down?! today, i'm putting notes up everywhere. post its, legal size, crochet and cross stitch.
SAVE! SAVE! at every page break, every pause, every line...

the anger might be too great to try to work today as well. i think i'll look at your nine. right? i think that's where I left off. i'll check. must be that anger induced fugue state. i'm having moments of blank spots. LOL. <--see, I can laugh about it.
~Bethanne

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Goals

5,250 words by NY standards.

What that means is that i actually wrote about 4800 or so words. :)
I like the look of NY counting better...

Got a HUGE chunk of writing completed over the challenge weekend.
In the manor of Nano, it was a rough ride and i'm not sure now how likely completion of an entire manuscript will be in the fall. Eh, I'll still sign up...

Participating is something to look forward to.

Goals updated:
1) finish rewrites
2) polish revisions
3) submit for Rose City contest in August
4) start agent submissions in august...or before if possible

I'm headed for NY.
I know I've sat on the fence regarding my target publisher, but I really think NY is worth the effort. If I don't try, I'll never know.

Gibbous Moon Madness

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I'm participating in another writing challenge. This one instigated by my writing friend, Emily Ryan-Davis. I started this morning and continuing through Sunday will write, write, write ignoring all other obligations until I have 6,000 words.

Lucky for me, Nathan Bransford wrote a wonderful blog post just yesterday on the very topic of Plotting.

Also, who knew that I had to have a reason for the hero and heroine to get married in the first place??? And didn't the answer give me an even greater conflict than I'd already written for them?

I stopped at noon. 958 words so far... I need 2,000 for the day. Or more.

Nothing like using my blog to jump from one topic to the next with absolute chaos.

Bottom line...
I'm using this weekend to do the rewrites that have cropped up during this crazy phase called REVISIONS. Including but not limited to a new opening chapter.

So, tell me what you think. Is this an interesting-enough-to-keep-you-reading opening scene?


###

Mark Danbury ambled down the darkened corridor. His shoes echoed the steady drumming of his heart. A small bead of sweat trickled down the side of this face. He wiped it with a shaky hand and cursed the clench of his stomach as thoughts of Maggie invaded his mind.

He’d come to this country to fight in a war. Marriage had never been in the plans. He pushed away the small measure of resentment that cropped up in his heart. His vulnerability towards her was of his own making.

Blaming her for this snafu dishonored her. He couldn’t do that. He could blame the powers that be but patriotism ran too thickly in his veins.

Women worked.

His own mother was the backbone in his family, though you couldn’t tell it by looking. She would have stepped up to the plate for this cause. Be first in line to do what’s right, Mark, she’d always said.

An office at the end of the hallway stood open and light spilled from the narrow doorway to the tiled floor illuminating the speckled surface as he approached. He slowed, stopped in this last instant before his life would be irrevocably changed.

There would be no going back.

The decision had been firmly made* as soon as he’d heard the rumor that Hawthorne wanted to enlist Maggie in his newly formed Special Operations for Under-Cover Extraction. Jesus, just what he needed. To worry about her safety as she traipsed through Europe meeting with the victims of war and helping them find refuge.

Mark took a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders and stepped into the light.

Cameron Hawthorne stood quickly at the interruption. His hand automatically moving to the side-arm he kept in a secret compartment at the inside corner of his desk drawer.

He’d been buried in work, unusually so. It was a rare occurrence that someone would take him by surprise. He’d lived too long to allow such a weakness to prevail.

He dropped the gun into the drawer. "Mark Danbury. I didn’t expect to see you this evening."

The young man reeked of discord. He was torn, as a man of honor would be if he’d heard that a loved one was in danger. Cameron sighed. He’d wanted to bring the matter of Maggie to the forefront in his own timing. Apparently, he’d waited too long. His people were well protected. Women even more so.

"Have a seat Lieutenant Danbury."

"No thank you, sir."

Cameron sat down and leaned into his seat. He steepled his fingers over his lap and asked for an answer which he already knew. "What can I do for you, Mark?"

Mark met his gaze with fierce blue eyes. They held a minutia of question, uncertainty. "I would be obliged if you’d allow me a few days leave, sir."

Cameron leaned in. This was not what he expected. More, he expected a dressing down in the face of objection. He studied the not-so-young recruit. Mark, at thirty held seniority over most of his comrades. A pilot, he’d been flying planes since he was eighteen, and his knowledge and skill made him a leader. But he hadn’t become an officer.

He flew for pleasure and duty.

"We’re in the middle of a war son."

"I’m aware of that Commander Hawthorne." Mark shifted his weight. He cleared his throat. "You see, Maggie and I are going to be married."

The dirty rotten… Cameron hadn’t seen it coming. He’d expected the argument, not the action nor the determination. He couldn’t recruit a married woman. It would be frowned upon… it was unheard of. The complications of married life without being a special agent were hard enough. "Maggie has agreed to marry you?"

"We’ve spoken about it many times." But Mark didn’t meet his gaze.

"Ahh." He called the bluff. "How much time will you need in order to convince her?"

A flush rose from Mark’s collar. "A few days should be enough time."

"Optimistic, aren’t you?"

"More like stubborn," The anger was back in those cold eyes. "Sir." Mark, at ease now, paced the floor in front of the desk. "Believe me when I say, Maggie will not be available for any work after we are wed. I’ll be sending her home."

"Do you love her?"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Cameron couldn’t stop the rush of satisfaction. He blocked the sympathetic vibes and instead added one more monkey wrench. "Twenty-four hours, lieutenant."
He could use Maggie. That truth was enough to through this roadblock. Maggie had seemed interested when they’d last spoke. She hadn’t said anything about getting married…or going home.

"Please, two days."

Cameron was aware of the trouble his young American friend would have finding a Catholic priest, especially in the upheaval of war times. He knew that Maggie would insist on it, though. He sighed. "Thirty-six, Mark. That’s all I can give you. If you can’t convince her to marry you in that amount of time, you’ll need to report to the Bentley Priory anyway. You belong in the air fighting the Germans not on the ground courting the ladies.
"
That flush appeared again at Mark’s collar. "Yes sir."

Cameron was glad to see he had some remorse for what he was about to do. If he wasn’t positive that Mark respected and liked Maggie, he’d order Mark on an assignment and away from this self-imposed obligation. But, he had a suspicion that Mark more than liked his young woman. "Go on then. You’re dismissed."

Mark saluted, his face grim with conviction as he did an about-face. He paused at the door and turned back. "Thank you."

"I hope you know what you’re doing Mark."

"I hope so too, Cameron."

Thursday Thirteen


Thirteen Flowers In Bethanne's Yard


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Oh dear... nine pics. I have a total of about 12 peonies bushes back there...so, I think I'm entitled so a few skipperoos.

LOL.

My seven year old son took all those pictures. :) and loved it.




Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!






Do you Like Your Writing?

There seems to be a general consensus amongst writers involving self-doubt. It's not unusual to hear one say, "This isn't that good." Or, "I don't think this manuscript will cut it."

To then recieve feedback as such a story that makes the eyesight blurr from all the red marks can ultimately lead a writer to consider giving up the ghost [so to speak]. The thought of one more minute spent on a manuscript that's already been on your desk for weeks in revisions... Well,

Good writing is hard for an author to find! [insert Ratatouille voice]


Oddly enough, the people I hear this from the most...are the successful ones. *narrows eyes* Why is that? If I've finally allowed myself to completely doubt everything I've done, will I then be successful?

*pounds fist on desk*

No! I can't believe it. It's unreasonable. Success has nothing to do with what's NOT on the paper.

I love my story. The more I fine tune it, the better it gets. I may be drowning myself in rewrites and revisions right now, but it's TOTALLY tubular... er, worth it. And I still think I can be done and ready to submit by the end of July. So, no sweat here.

So, tell me, Do you love your story? your writing? Or are you filled with doubt, wondering at any given moment if what you're doing is worthwhile?

I've got an excerpt from the newest bit of my story. I love it. I think it has punch and the follow-up scene will be messy with emotion and intimacy. I CAN'T WAIT!
~~~~~~~
Phillips rounded the table to stand with the other man, another suit. "Your parts in this operation are both crucial, essential. If you’ll sit down, I’ll explain."

Using the words Maggie and operation in the same sentence made Mark's blood freeze. He rubbed the back of his neck. This was not happening. Placing his hands on the table in front of him, he leaned in, became as intimidating as he knew how to be and spoke quietly, "My plane was almost taken down on the last operation. My wife is not an operator. I will not allow her to do your dirty work for you."

Phillips might have been a likable guy, he displayed the right amount of sympathy, but too soon, a spark of triumph ignited in his eyes.

Maggie had come up behind Mark, rested a hand on his back. "Mark."

He closed his eyes and braced for the tremor her touch induced. He was weak and he’d proved it to every man in the room. "No Maggie! How can you even consider it?"

"I can help." It was that simple to her. She had no fear.

His fist landed on the table. "I won’t allow it." He grabbed her shoulders and shook. "It’s too dangerous."

She smiled at him.

God, she smiled at him. "Aaargh!" He dropped her, stalked to the door and flung it open. Silence followed him into the dark corridor.

Fiction Friday

In my attempt to open up my story and make people cry...
Don't be disappointed if you don't cry. This excerpt is Chapter Ten. There is ALOT of story building and character development before this ever happens, which you need in order to expect tears.
I don't usually post such a long bit, but it felt right...
And I'm all about doing what feels right. ;-) JK.
Hope you enjoy it.



Chapter Ten

"Do you get a rush going out like this?"

Mark pulled on his slacks and sat at the edge of the bed. Reaching under the bed for his boots, he turned his head and looked over his shoulder. "Maybe."

Maggie couldn’t take her eyes from him. The hair starting to curl at his nape, his strong back that tapered down to his slim waist. He was all hers. She hoped. Biting her lip she wondered if it was just the war that made him so uncertain. She wasn’t the prettiest girl he’d probably ever met. Knowing him these past months and the short six months before they were married, she hadn’t thought looks were more important to him than, well, her brain.

Still, maybe she was the lucky one.

"Stop looking at me like that." Lifting his foot and pressing it into the boot, he leaned back, grabbed her shirt and pulled her down for a kiss.

She grinned when he cupped her cheek. "I love to fly."

Her smile softened. "I know."
He’d chosen a dangerous career but it was one of the reasons she loved him. His sense of honor and duty, responsibility to the next generation.

With a quick peck, he sat back up and finished lacing his boots.

"When are you leaving?" She startled him out of his thoughts.

"Fourteen hundred hours."

"Will I see you again before then?" She rose from the bed and pulled on her robe.

"I doubt it." He stood the distance of the room from her.

She didn’t move to go to him. She lifted her chin, shoulders back. "I’m not going to cry you know." Her chin trembled.

"I know. You’re strong." He picked up his leather jacket, turned to her with his flashing, charm-filled grin, but a look crossed his face, poignant. She’d never seen it before and tension flared under her breastbone when he crossed the room, took her face in his hands. "I’m so sorry about last night."

She glanced to the shirt in the corner. The one she’d taken from his back smelling of some other woman’s perfume. She’d never doubted his fidelity…

He placed a finger on her chin and pulled her gaze back to him. "Don’t."

She shrugged. She’d never felt any doubt before now. She raised her hands in question and lifted her shoulders. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you safe and waiting when I come back." His hands slid to the back of her neck and squeezed gently. "Please."

"If I’d been waiting last night, you never would have met this other woman."

"There’s nothing to tell, Maggie." His look was fierce as he continued. "One of the barmaids at Frank’s came on a little too strong. I hadn’t eaten in almost 8 hours and after a few beers, I failed to stop her advances."

"You failed…"

"Yes, damn it! I didn’t even see it coming. I didn’t even realize she was a prostitute—"

Maggie squeaked and lifted her hand to cover her mouth. Her jaw was slack. She knew she must look like an idiot but she hadn’t thought it was that bad.

"I didn’t do anything with her." He scowled. "We danced, had a drink. It was horrible."

Pressing her lips together, she hid the smile that threatened. "You danced."

"Yes!" He blushed.

"Had a drink…"

"I didn’t know how bad off I was. I should have eaten something." He was miserable and twisting in his boots.

Maybe she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help softening to him. It didn’t matter how often he didn’t say it, she would. "I love you."

"I swear it will—" He tilted his head, studied her face. "What did you say?"

He perked up and shifted his gaze an instant before someone pounded on the front door. "I wonder who that is?"

Ignoring his question, she slipped round him and entered the hallway. She wasn’t expecting anyone, but had a few friends left who might visit unannounced.

"Maggie."

She turned back to him with a smile.

"Are you really going to answer the door in your robe?"

"Oh." Looking down, she gave a startled laugh. "No. Would you mind getting the door?"

He stopped before passing her in the hallway and ran his finger into the V of her neckline. "Come out when you’re dressed?"

She nodded, her brain a bit muddled from his touch. He strode toward the door. The pounding had picked up in frequency and decibels.

"I’m coming." His muffled voice reached her and forced her into action.

She hurried through the routine, choosing a skirt instead of pants and a blouse instead of one of his t-shirts. They were comfortable but she didn’t know where her schedule would take her today. Better to be prepared. Her two-inch heels sat at the bottom of the armoire. The stockings she wanted were hanging in the bathroom from three days before.

Peeking into the hallway and finding it clear, she ran to the bathroom. She ran water and splashed her face. Mark’s comb sat on the sink and she used it on her hair. After a quick dash of powder, she stopped in the bedroom for her shoes and slowly, gracefully—she hoped—entered the living room. She was only a little out of breath, but still, she smiled at Mark’s commander. "Cameron, how good—"

Mark had turned from the fireplace when she entered. His face was pale, stricken. It was another expression she’d never seen before and she rushed to him. "What is it, Mark?"

When he didn’t respond, she turned to Cameron. "Tell me what happened. Is it Flannery?" God, please not Flannery. "Someone talk to me right this minute!"

Mark looked to Cameron.

"The village in Switzerland where the escaped prisoners and refugees lived. We just heard." With a look of anguish, Cameron turned away from her.

She looked to Mark.

"They’re dead. All of them." Mark’s gaze slowly came back to her.

She stumbled back at his dull, flat stare. "I don’t understand."

A spark flashed in his now gray irises giving her hope. Until he spoke.

"Someone knew about our mission. They came in after we left and dropped a bomb on the entire community of people." He hissed, pain filled and anguished.

She couldn’t blame him but her own heart broke at the news. He would feel responsible. He would take this to heart. The families he’d spoken of—Emma—and the trials they’d already faced, only to be beaten in the end.

Cameron laid a hand on her shoulder.

"How do they know there weren’t any survivors?" She just couldn’t except defeat so quickly. It couldn’t have been that long. She gripped his forearm. "They’re still finding people, right? Isn’t that how it works?"

"You don’t. Know. Anything." Mark bit the words off and turned away from her. She blinked back the hurt, the tears. He didn’t mean it.

"It would be a miracle, Maggie." Cameron glanced over as Mark disappeared into the hallway. "The damage was extensive. Almost complete annhilation."

"He met a little girl there." She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands.

"He mentioned it to me too. I’m sorry." Cameron ran a hand through his white hair. "He wasn’t happy when he returned. The trip took a lot out of him, I think. Well, I’m sure you know. The incident in Belguim was the last straw for him. He’s ticked. When he wanted to be out fighting with his comrades, we sent him on to escort a state head. He understands politics, but he didn’t like it."

Maggie moved toward the hallway listening intently to the story Cameron wasn’t telling.

"Something happened at the village. When he spoke of the visit—" He’d conveyed such longing. She turned back and saw the pity on his face. "What was it?"

"I don’t know. Sometimes a soldier, a man has a harder time explaining what’s inside of him." Cameron checked his watch. "I’m due at a meeting. I’m sorry I can’t stay. Tell Mark I expect him on base at twelve hundred hours."

"Thank you for coming."

"I wish it could be under different circumstances." Worry creased his brow. "Take care of him, Maggie. I hate to see him so broken over this."

"This is war, isn’t it? That’s what he’s been trying to tell me."

Cameron gave her a small smile before slipping through the door.

She pushed it closed behind him and rested her head on the warmth of the wood. Choking back a sob, she straightened and turned.

He stood across the room, a bag in his hand, his jacket slung over his shoulder. "I’ve got work to do."

"You’re just leaving?" Maggie held her ground between him and the door. He wouldn't...

"Maggie. There’s work to be done—"

"Cameron said noon!" Her outburst surprised him.

His eyes widened but filled with regret and he didn’t waver. "I can’t afford to sit around playing house at a time like this. You think this war is going to be won sitting around here? My job is to fly. I fight the real enemy."

He may as well have slapped her. Her anger burned strong, then. She raised her fist shook it in his face. "You do what you have to do and I’ll do what I have to do, but don’t you ever imply that my work isn’t important. It’s important to me. It’s important to someone…" The temper fizzled. He was hurt and her anger wouldn’t help things right now.

He peered at her through angry eyes. "I led some sicko into that village and onto that farm. All those families are dead because of me."

"You were ordered!" Her voice reached a desperate pitch, but she couldn’t stop it. He blamed himself. It was ridiculous.

"I should have refused. I felt it inside, a bad feeling." He pounded his chest. "But, I did nothing."

"You almost died!"

He grabbed her shoulders, hard. "Maybe I should have died. Better me than Em—" His voice broke off. His eyes glistened. He would finally break.

"Mark." She spoke quietly and he met her eyes.

"I—I can’t. I’m sorry." He left a circle of warmth with his lips on her forehead and walked to the door.

"Don’t leave like this, please." She begged him, but he wouldn’t let her help. Wouldn’t let himself need her, need anyone. "Damn you!"

His shoulders tensed and he stopped in the doorway. "Remember what I said. Stay safe, wife." He did turn back for one last look. Then he was gone.

Her legs gave out beneath her. He’d ripped her heart out.

Unintentionally…

Intentionally?

I didn’t matter. He’d proved one thing.

He didn’t need her.

The End